Time to hand it all over…

Jesus wants me to allow Him full access to my heart; so I can know Him at a deeper level. I need to understand who Jesus truly is so I can know truly who I am in Him at a much deeper level.

I need to surrender all my effort, power, control, and my desire to earn approval from Jesus and others. I am to lay it all down to make room so I can draw closer to Him.

I admit that this scares me but where else can I go?

Where can I run and hide from Jesus where He could not find me?

I cannot hide and protect myself  from Him. Jesus already knows my thoughts, my motives, my desires, and my dreams. The trick here is surrendering so I can know Him. I just do not have the strength to wrestle with my Jesus, my Daddy and my Holy Spirit anymore.

Yes, I have lots of questions that I have refused to ask Jesus as I have been afraid to hear the answers. My being openly transparent  and vulnerable with Him terrifies me! Allowing Jesus access to all my brokenness leaves me feeling totally powerless.

As I openly admit my anger, confusion, resentment and bitterness I feel so naked before God. I realize now that I have no right to hold onto this stuff. Jesus paid the price to redeem all of it. It has been bought and paid for. It is time to hand it all over, finally. It was getting pretty heavy anyway having to lug it around all these years.

What will Jesus ask of me? 

Where will Jesus take me? 

I have no clue.

What will it all cost? 

Nothing compared to the price Jesus paid to redeem me!

So I feel like the most irresponsible and biggest kid as I now hand over the full responsibility for all I have ever been and ever done and all I am and will ever do and be to Him. : )